I feel.
I feel it all.
I feel deep sadness. Anger. Unrest. Overwhelm. Anxiety. Disconnection. Isolation. Loneliness.
But I also feel joy. Peace. Happiness. Wonder. Possibility.
But the dense and heavy energies, especially the fear and the anger, they’re heart-wrenching. They eat at my core. I feel them deep in my bones. They make my gut ache and my tremble.
When I allow myself to feel all, everything, everyone, it scares me.
It feels like a jumble of sorrow with hints of wonder. Dark with flecks of light.
So, I numb.
I block all feelings, and choose to hide. To close off. To separate. To contain myself, within myself, where I feel safe.
I don’t have to feel when I’m isolated.
I don’t have to FEEL it all.
But, when I’m numbed, with alcohol, coffee, sugar or being totally busy in doing something, anything, I just don’t feel at all.
And that, that’s even scarier. Because. Because from that place of being alone, isolated and ‘safe’, it’s all muted. The joy is numb. The happiness is weak. The bliss is non-existent.
And, you can only manifest numbness from a place of numbness. Life attracts like. Yes?
So? What does one do?
Does one choose to feel now and then? To turn it off and on? To keep it off unless it’s safe? To hide? To sneak around the dense heaviness and pray the joy will be there when the dial is opened or the switch is flipped?
That’s not much of a life. Is it?
Trust me. It’s not.
Hiding and numbing is NOT the answer. It’s not fun. It’s not interesting. It’s not exciting. It’s not much of anything.
And it blocks SO much joy. And love. Where is the love?
How does love get in with all that numbness blocking the door?
It’s time to FEEL. To feel it all. To act totally, completely and innately human. To allow the highs and lows and find joy in the entire spectrum of emotions. All day. Everyday.
Are you with me, Empath?